Nick Knowles

Not to be confused with the other cunt, Nicolas Knowles.

Nicholas Simon Augustine Landed-On-Head Knowles (born 21 September 1962) was a television presenter, writer and musical artist and cunt who sadly died after falling off the roof of a jeep right on to his head. His most watched programme was DIY SOS, a show about Knowles shopping at B&Q.

early life
Nick was born in Sudan, East Africa to parents Dick Knowles and Trisha Knowles, his Dad is part-Ethiopian decent and his mother claims to be native Chinese. He was bullied a lot due to his face which looked very similar to an old man’s wrinkly ballsack, thus schoolchildren named him ‘Scrotum Puss’. Knowles was not your ordinary toy-playing kid, he was rather a DIY guy who went out and built houses for the poor in his hometown. And also playing on his phone while driving his van at 200mph

Quotes

 * ”Who dares wins!”